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SARAH PALIN’S NEWBORN GRANDSON LAUNCHES BID FOR 2048 PRESIDENCY
Democrats Scrambling To Impregnate Someone For Creation Of Opposing Candidate
WASILLA, AK – The newborn grandson of former vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin
announced today he’s throwing his hat into the Republican ring for the 2048 presidential
election. The child says he’ll run on a platform that promises to change whatever’s going on in
Washington at that time. “I stand before you today to simply ask this; Is your life 40 years from
now better than your life 36 years from now?” asked Tripp Palin. “If the answer is ‘No,’ then I’m
the candidate for you and I’d be honored to have your vote forty Novembers from now.” Though
the announcement comes as a surprise to the Democrats, strategists have already unleashed
a well-formulated attack on the child’s record. “This man is no more fit to serve than Fred
Thompson.” said Tucker Winslow, chief political adviser for Dennis Kucinich’s failed 2008
campaign. “He has yet to take a stance on whatever energy or tax crisis will be going on at that
time and he has only slightly more political experience than his grandmother.”
Asked who the Democrats will choose to challenge the newly-announced candidate,
Democratic National Committee chairman Howard Dean said he had a few candidates in
mind. “I’d like to think Nancy Pelosi or Claire McCaskill could shoot out a pretty formidable
opponent, so we’ve got Bill Clinton working overtime trying to knock up both of them.” Though
her own run at the vice presidency didn’t turn out as she hoped, Sarah Palin told reporters she
sees big things in the new candidate’s future. “Oh I’m proud to be this candidate’s
Grandmother. He’s gonna be a rough, tough, rootin-tootin, son of a gun.” Asked what exactly
that means, Palin simply smiled then shot a moose. . Link this story here.
Comment on this story here. Story Archive -TheFilesFiles.com
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Disclaimer: TheFilesFiles.com is a satire site...the truth is just too boring.
SARAH PALIN’S NEWBORN GRANDSON LAUNCHES BID FOR 2048 PRESIDENCY
Democrats Scrambling To Impregnate Someone For Creation Of Opposing Candidate
WASILLA, AK – The newborn grandson of former vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin
announced today he’s throwing his hat into the Republican ring for the 2048 presidential
election. The child says he’ll run on a platform that promises to change whatever’s going on in
Washington at that time. “I stand before you today to simply ask this; Is your life 40 years from
now better than your life 36 years from now?” asked Tripp Palin. “If the answer is ‘No,’ then I’m
the candidate for you and I’d be honored to have your vote forty Novembers from now.” Though
the announcement comes as a surprise to the Democrats, strategists have already unleashed
a well-formulated attack on the child’s record. “This man is no more fit to serve than Fred
Thompson.” said Tucker Winslow, chief political adviser for Dennis Kucinich’s failed 2008
campaign. “He has yet to take a stance on whatever energy or tax crisis will be going on at that
time and he has only slightly more political experience than his grandmother.”
Asked who the Democrats will choose to challenge the newly-announced candidate,
Democratic National Committee chairman Howard Dean said he had a few candidates in
mind. “I’d like to think Nancy Pelosi or Claire McCaskill could shoot out a pretty formidable
opponent, so we’ve got Bill Clinton working overtime trying to knock up both of them.” Though
her own run at the vice presidency didn’t turn out as she hoped, Sarah Palin told reporters she
sees big things in the new candidate’s future. “Oh I’m proud to be this candidate’s
Grandmother. He’s gonna be a rough, tough, rootin-tootin, son of a gun.” Asked what exactly
that means, Palin simply smiled then shot a moose. . Link this story here.
Comment on this story here. Story Archive -TheFilesFiles.com
Decent Exposure: The Riverfront Times The Suburban Journals RFT(blog)
97.1FM (audio)
Disclaimer: TheFilesFiles.com is a satire site...the truth is just too boring.
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Prior to his birth, the
new presidential hopeful
takes a break to smile for
the camera.
new presidential hopeful
takes a break to smile for
the camera.
Alaska governor Sarah
Palin smiles when thinking
about shooting wolves
from helicopters.
Palin smiles when thinking
about shooting wolves
from helicopters.
