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MAN FORCED TO CARRY GIANT STUFFED ANIMAL DURING ENTIRE THEME PARK VISIT
Visitor Says Prize Is Keeping Him From Riding Several Key Roller Coasters
EUREKA, MO – A local man is regretting his choice to play the “throw the waffle ball in the cup”
game at an area theme park, saying he’s now forced to carry around a giant stuffed animal for
the remainder of the day. John Dugan, 35, of Festus says putting the Ye Olde Flagon Toss
game first on his list of things to do may have been a mistake, and the Tasmanian Devil he
won is now standing between him and several trips on the Screamin’ Eagle and Batman roller
coasters, forcing him instead to ride the decidedly less-thrilling Foghorn Leghorn Train and
Daffy Duck swings. “I just wanted to get a few throws in before we hit the coasters.” says
Dugan, “I didn’t think the damn ball would actually land in the cup, that never happens.”
Though Dugan was initially exuberant over winning the four foot tall Looney Tunes toy after
paying only $54 for throws, he’s now questioning whether he should have chosen the Marvin
the Martian character, saying he’s thinner and would probably not take up an entire seat on a
ride, something forbidden by theme park rules. “Yea, Taz matches my tattoo, but he’s fatter
than Marvin, so he don’t fit in the seatbelt on anything…that’s the problem.”
Several witnesses say Dugan is now trying to sell the enormous plush toy outside Bugs Bunny
National Park, hoping instead to buy a smoked turkey leg and a caricature of himself. Dugan
refutes the claims, however, saying it’s the happiest day of his life, except for the fact that he
paid $48 to get into a theme park and can’t go on any rides. Though Six Flags officials are
offering to work with Dugan, saying rental lockers are available, the father of three says he
“ain’t paying no dang dollar just to rent me an empty locker,” and insists the inconvenience will
be worth it once he makes room on his mantle for the prize. Link this story here.
Comment on this story here. Story Archive -TheFilesFiles.com
Decent Exposure: The Riverfront Times The Suburban Journals RFT(blog)
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Disclaimer: TheFilesFiles.com is a satire site...the truth is just too boring.
MAN FORCED TO CARRY GIANT STUFFED ANIMAL DURING ENTIRE THEME PARK VISIT
Visitor Says Prize Is Keeping Him From Riding Several Key Roller Coasters
EUREKA, MO – A local man is regretting his choice to play the “throw the waffle ball in the cup”
game at an area theme park, saying he’s now forced to carry around a giant stuffed animal for
the remainder of the day. John Dugan, 35, of Festus says putting the Ye Olde Flagon Toss
game first on his list of things to do may have been a mistake, and the Tasmanian Devil he
won is now standing between him and several trips on the Screamin’ Eagle and Batman roller
coasters, forcing him instead to ride the decidedly less-thrilling Foghorn Leghorn Train and
Daffy Duck swings. “I just wanted to get a few throws in before we hit the coasters.” says
Dugan, “I didn’t think the damn ball would actually land in the cup, that never happens.”
Though Dugan was initially exuberant over winning the four foot tall Looney Tunes toy after
paying only $54 for throws, he’s now questioning whether he should have chosen the Marvin
the Martian character, saying he’s thinner and would probably not take up an entire seat on a
ride, something forbidden by theme park rules. “Yea, Taz matches my tattoo, but he’s fatter
than Marvin, so he don’t fit in the seatbelt on anything…that’s the problem.”
Several witnesses say Dugan is now trying to sell the enormous plush toy outside Bugs Bunny
National Park, hoping instead to buy a smoked turkey leg and a caricature of himself. Dugan
refutes the claims, however, saying it’s the happiest day of his life, except for the fact that he
paid $48 to get into a theme park and can’t go on any rides. Though Six Flags officials are
offering to work with Dugan, saying rental lockers are available, the father of three says he
“ain’t paying no dang dollar just to rent me an empty locker,” and insists the inconvenience will
be worth it once he makes room on his mantle for the prize. Link this story here.
Comment on this story here. Story Archive -TheFilesFiles.com
Decent Exposure: The Riverfront Times The Suburban Journals RFT(blog)
97.1FM (audio)
Disclaimer: TheFilesFiles.com is a satire site...the truth is just too boring.
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Dugan (out of frame)
shows off the plush toy
keeping him from having
a fun day at Six Flags.
shows off the plush toy
keeping him from having
a fun day at Six Flags.
Dugan's family rides the
legendary Batman roller
coaster while Dugan pouts
near the exit area.
legendary Batman roller
coaster while Dugan pouts
near the exit area.
